Short jokes

. Boy and girl in bed:

Boy : Is this your first time?

Girl: Oo naman! Why do you guys always ask the same question?

2. Three guys were introduced to a girl:

" Hi, I'm Peter, not a saint!"

" I'm Paul, not a pope."

"I'm John, not a baptist."

The girl gladly replies, "Hi, I'm Mary, not a virgin!"

3. A playboy died. During his funeral mass:

Priest: He's an honest guy, a good man, a family man!

Wife (whispers to her son): Anak, silipin mo nga ang kabaong. Baka hindi mo tatay ang nan dyan.

Do you want more tagalog text jokes?

Not a filipino and can't relate? Please use the google translator on the upper right side of this page.

The Filipino freelancer Joke

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence. One from the Philippines, another from Mexico and an American. They went with a White House official to examine the fence. 

The American contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works out some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

Madre

    - May dalawang madre na hinahabol ng rapist hanggang umabot sila sa isang kanto...

Madre 1: Sister dun ka sa kaliwa ako nalng papahabol!

The Nun Joke

A NUN rides a taxi.

TAXI DRIVER: Sister it s always my dream to kiss a NUN. Can u grant my wish?

NUN: Ok but first you should be catholic and second you have to be single.

TAXI DRIVER: I am both catholic and still single.

Funny

hey guys just want to share the jokes derived at funsms dat net

*Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast
tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d
breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet!

Ulam ni boy

Boy: Nay may ulam ba?

Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.

Boy: Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba?