Pussy cat..

Teacher: John, why did you bring your cat to school today?

John (crying): I heard the mailman tell mom "When the kid goes to school, I'm gonna eat your pussy!"

Toothpick

Waiter, bakit wala nang toothpick dito?

Waiter: Ewan ko po Sir?? Basta ako pag mag toothpick ako dyan, ibinabalik ko po!

Ngek!!